People get bullied all the time, be it at school, at a club, or in the workplace. So whether your child is young or grown up, the chance to face a bully is always there. Simply do what you are best at. Be supportive, lend your ear if they need to vent, and lend your shoulder if they need to cry. This is because rarely will there be a chance to do something about the bully. Bullies bully not because there is something wrong with their victim, but because they are struggling with something and this is how they chose to release that. This is of course not an excuse for the bully, it is simply to give you that peace of mind that there is nothing wrong with your child when a bully targets them. The damage is the same of course, but that is why you are here to support them.

Many trans people lose friends after coming out. Sometimes their friends publicly speak out, sometimes the contact simply breaks. There can be many reasons from upbringing, political and religious beliefs, misundertanding biology, and other reasons. And while it hurts to see your child suffer, again be there to support and assure them that they will find friends again. Friends that care about their well being and love them for who they are. Having no friends is rarely permanent. In the mean time, don’t underestimate the power of the internet. There are many communities on many platforms and even inside computer games, where your child will be able to connect with people and form strong friendships.

Many religions and cultures are extremely accepting of trans people and identities that are similar to what we call “transgender”, however in many parts of the world, in many cultures, and in many religions this is not the case. Be prepared for rejection or loaded questions on that religious and cultural level, depending on the social circles you are in. You might or might not agree with the criticism you are likely to hear, however the well-being of your child is the priority. If you find yourself agreeing with anti-trans statements on those levels, take the time to question your mindset because this is important. Sure this might unravel other things you are or used think are right both religiously and culturally, however you’ll want to make sure that your child is the priority, even if you may need to let go of previously held believes after you have investigated them and made your own conclusions.

Hate crime is crime that is being committed because the victim is or is perceived as part of a protected group. Gender Identity is part of the protected groups. And this is why group against a trans person for the reason that they are trans, is called hate crime. Transgender people, especially transgender women of colour, are the most targeted group within the LGBT+ community. Trans people face disproportional physical and verbal abuse. Unfortunately, Ireland has no specific hate crime law, so if your child is being targetted in this manner, you might not be able to report that for hate crime. You can always try to go that route of course and in that case, the best way would be to hire a solicitor/lawyer to help you with it. Generally speaking, in situations like this, trans people often need advocates. So have a conversation with your child to see how you can best support them.

If your child is a teenager or grown up, they might have a partner or spouse. While many partnerships survive coming out and even transition, there are just as many instances where this is not the case. This can bring up more than the usual heart break, because a break up because of their gender identity is deeply personal and challenges them at the core of their identity. This is why it can take a long time until they feel comfortable enough to open up to a potential partner again. Additionally, many people out there fetishize trans people and while that is uncomfortable to know, it is important to know. If your grown up trans kid feels ok with being fetishised, that is ok and their choice. They are a conscenting adult. However, if they are not, they might feel overwhelmed by insencere or overly sexualised advances from other people. And this is a frustration they might want to talk about with you. Don’t blame them because they are not to blame. Instead have your open ear and your shoulder ready for them.